It’s time to take up smoking.

So, I realize it finally is time to take up smoking again. I gave up cigarettes a long, long time ago but, over the last few years it has occurred to me taken up the filthy habit as it might not be so bad after all.

See, I’ve been working a little bit lately and there is nothing I love more than the smoker’s excuse of popping off to have a cigarette. How it possibly became socially acceptable for someone to get up from their work area and just disappear for 20 to 30 minutes at a time three to five times a day never ceases to amaze me. What I love about it, is the fact if you substituted any other drug for tobacco and in the context of this kind of behavior it would be grounds for getting your ass canned.

Think about it.

‘Hey, I’m going to go downstairs and down a fifth!’ or ‘Excuse me, I’ve just got to take a break so I can go and shoot up.’

Here’s the plain English for the situation (smoker speaking) - I have an addiction and bad impulse control, consequently I want the world to accommodate me while I indulge in my addiction. Also, even though my addiction takes me away from my responsibilities for a prolonged time each and every day, I feel it is my right to still be compensated for that time when I am away from my desk indulging in my addiction. I thoroughly expect those around me to pick up the slack for my absences while I am off indulging in my jones for tobacco.

I was a smoker so, it’s not like I don’t have some sympathy but, there comes a point when the whole ‘smoking break’ just becomes absolutely ridiculous. I mean, I probably wouldn’t have as much of a problem with it if it were also as socially acceptable for me to just get up and walk away for a big block of time several times throughout the course of a day and no one would even raise an eyebrow.

But then, that’s just me. What do you think?